First of all, let me start out with a couple of quotes from my son on Christmas morning…
At 7:20 am (can you believe we got to sleep that late?) “Mom, Dad, there are so many presents under the tree… and I think they are all mine… come look”
He put all of his gifts into a pile and ours too and then began opening them… then in a voice almost under his breath he said, “you guys just wanted to make sure that I had a good Christmas” and then just went back to opening… That boy. I tell ya. Every. Single. Damn. Day. he amazes me.
He frustrates, brings me joy and also teaches me something every day too… (Just saying)
So now on to Monday…
There are a couple of things that have hit me over the last few days. The last post “screaming” is definitely how I feel, but also looking over my previous posts – it seems to be the way I feel a LOT.
That sucks.
I had been in this pattern of shutting down, and then clawing my way out if it to declare “THINGS HAVE TO CHANGE” – only to coast along until the next rollercoaster dip.
Well I’m done with the rollercoaster.
There are some things that need to be resolved and as soon as I figure out how to resolve them – I will.
But first – today is the day I start “my plan”. Here it is…
While I have known that the shakes were never a magic bullet – I must have thought that just taking them would bring me the same results as eating all that crap in the medifast plan.
Here’s the thing – when I did Medifast a few years back – I lost weight – of course… I stuck to their plan and ate all that OH. MY. GOD. THIS . TASTES. AWFUL. crap… But then I started to eat like a normal person and gained weight back. I’m sure this is a familiar story to everyone who has ever ridden the weight rollercoaster..
Hmmm… I seem to be on a weight rollercoaster inside a life rollercoaster and I am sure there are a few other layers of reality in between… (stream of conscious typing there) 
Anyway – 90 days after I started taking these shakes, I still FEEL better than I have in MANY MANY years – I am pumped. And I still love the taste and CRAVE my Peanut Butter/Chocolate shake (which I just finished btw)
But, I realized that just eating better – which to me meant having breakfast, snacks and lunch – wasn’t all I needed to do. I need to step up the body muscle molding process.
I need to STOP eating after 7 pm… (from 7 until I go to bed – I would eat sugar or chips or whatever that was bad…) I mean, I had my shakes right? I should be able to eat anything late night…
What a crock – I’m smarter than that. And I am smarter than the lizard brain in my head that controls my anxiety. Sorry little lizard – the eagle is coming to kill you.
Oh – so back to the plan… In a few hours – even though I do NOT feel like doing it – I am going to a new class. I am going to start learning Krav Maga. For those that don’t know – it is an Israeli self-defense technique. (I’m going to be like Ziva on NCIS (don’t I wish!))
So taking that along with my Tae Kwon Do classes should ramp up the energy burn (and I have lots of energy to burn) and push my muscles to the next level which will in turn lose the inches that need TO GO.
And if that wasn’t enough (– call now and we will send you double the order – oh, wait – that is a commercial –) I meant if that wasn’t enough to help my muscles – I am also starting a new weight training routine (courtesy of my husband – who I hope will also get back into his routine!)
So – after I post this unedited post – I will go to my visalus profile and start my new 90 day challenge and give this plan my best efforts. How many weeks until something becomes a habit? I need help!
btw – for those that don’t know – this tattoo on my wrist reads determination (from the heart) – Handwriting courtesy of a good friend from China… Here’s hoping I can tap mine!
